Gibson on the box
| SECRET MILLIONAIRE |  | | | VIEW FROM THE HILL | | | | YOUR HEALTH | | |
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The bum’s rush
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| Gordon less than impressed with his saveloy surprise |
AFTER years spent carving out a career for herself in the media, I bet Janet Street-Porter never dreamed she'd end up hoofing around the streets of London dressed in a cagoule, waving a big fake bum at passers-by.
It was to demonstrate that smoothies, beloved beverage of the office drone and which I agree with JSP taste like cold slurry, are packed with so much sugar, albeit fructose, that just one a day on top of your recommended calorie intake could add a stone to your weight in a year.
She chased people with this dummy derriere, gleefully waggling it menacingly while informing them there was masses more sugar in their pear, banana and raspberry slime than, say, a can of regular cola.
The woman has thicker skin than a rhino wrapped in a duvet, but I'd have thought even she would draw the (bottom) line at that.
But she was shaking her booty for her beloved Gordon Ramsay after all, possibly the only person in the world, apart from her immediate family the toothy tyrant actually likes.
In fact, Jan and Gordon make quite an entertaining double-act in Gordon Ramsay's F Word (Channel 4, 9pm, Tuesdays), vying to outdo one another with insults and swearwords - unsurprisingly, Ramsay always wins.
Unlike when he found himself back in the role of whipping boy in a hot hell-house of a kitchen, run by a Chinese version of himself, in a swanky restaurant, famous for serving some of the finest dim sum on the planet.
In fact this super-disciplined chef, who looked about 12 years old and was described by Ramsay as an effing rottweiller, put the fear of God up the usually bolshy Glaswegian and before you could say steamed dumplings, there he was nervously producing little packets of tasty morsels he hoped would meet his tormentor's approval.
But the guy was having none of it. He shook his head and binned most of Ramsay's efforts (oh, the irony of that), and rated his dim sum five out of 10. In fairness, La Ramsay regarded this as praise and looked quite pleased with himself.
Not as pleased as when he beat Jo Brand in the curry cook-off and told her to eff off out of his kitchen. Brand was the best thing about the show this week. I know she's a bit like Marmite, people love her or hate her, but even those in the latter camp could hardly deny she was really funny.
When asked about their favourite dishes, his guest celebs usually witter on about how they only to use locally-sourced this and ethically-reared that, Jo's reply was that she likes to cook quick dishes so she can get back to her hobby of drinking, then added that she loved anything from petrol stations with Ginsters on the pack.
| Gordon found himself back in the role of whipping boy in a hot hell-house of a kitchen, run by a Chinese version of himself | |
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Quizzed about what she fed her two daughters, she replied: "Haribo casserole."
Refreshing. Not the stew, but the lack of pretence.
All of these little distractions revolve around the main event of the F Word, which is the celebrity family who cook with Gordon in his restaurant, then feed what can only be very loosely termed as celebrity diners.
This week it was singer Mica Paris, her sister and her parents; the only interesting thing about that was guessing how long it would be until one of their hair extensions fell into the food.
It wasn't long (well, it was, very long actually) until Ramsay, face twisting like a plate of worms, fished a stray hair out of a jus or something and bellowed: "What the eff are they supposed to do with that, floss?"
The only swear words in Chinese Food Made Easy (BBC2, 8.30pm, Monday) were monosodium and glutamate. In yet another new cookery show, the very nice food writer, Ching-He Huang, is on a mission to show us that takeaway food is the repast of the devil and that we can easily make better, healthier versions of our favourite Oriental fast-food dishes at home.
It no doubt helped her cause when she lifted a silver dome to reveal a mountain of glistening blubber (no jokes about Jo Brand, please), then announced that an average serving of sweet and sour pork with fried rice for a family of four has as much fat in it as 30 burgers!
That got our attention.
Her chicken chow mein wasn't exactly instant, but it was fairly simple and fresh, with not too many unheard of ingredients. How often do you read a recipe and go: "garlic, yes, chillies, yes, chicken, yes, rice wine, yes... pitted purple squaggle beans - you what?
Her healthier beef in oyster sauce and sweet and sour chicken both looked great. But at one point two woks and an electrical blending gadget were involved and you suddenly knew that come Friday night, all over the land tired, hungry workers will wend their way home and opt for the easiest method of all - the phone number for the local Chinese takeaway.
10:54am Friday 11th July 2008
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